Worth is Not Measured in Dollars or IQ

By Lauren Kennedy   – http://www.InsitetoExcellence.com

I frequently shop at Krogers. Their plastic shopping bags are rather small and extremely thin and weak.  If you put three cans in one bag and pick it up too quickly, they will bust out the bottom of the bag.  Any item that has square corners, quickly tears a gash in the bag. And my kids are anything but careful when they bring in the groceries from the car.

Time and again, I have said to the baggers, “Please do not make the bags full or heavy.” But my request always seems to fall on deaf ears. After a glass jar of applesauce fell through the bottom of the bag and smashed all over my driveway, I decided to bag my own groceries.

The baggers always look a bit confused when I tell them that I will bag my own groceries,  but at least I get all my items in the house in one piece.

The other day, I was once again standing in  line at Kroger with a cart full of groceries.   I had spent two hours in the doctors office to get treated for asthmatic bronchitis and another hour waiting for my prescriptions to be filled. By the time it was my turn to check out, I just wanted to get back home and lay down.

So when one of the baggers came to help me unload my cart, I was relieved to have some assistance.  Instead of telling him that I would bag them myself, I just ask him not to pack the bags full or heavy, expecting the request to once again be ignored.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Finally, I wheeled out the cart load of groceries with my last bit of energy.  As I put them in the car, I realized he had actually complied with my request, and he had also packed cold food with cold food, and non food with non food, something that I had completely given up on ever getting done.

A job well done deserves acknowledgement. So I thought I would go back into the store and give him a tip. I though that  tipping might be against their policy. So I asked the manage if I could tip my bagger because he had done a wonderful job. She said, “Oh, you mean David? Isn’t he sweet?”

David happened to be one of their employees that is mentally challenged. (I believe that is the proper term.)

I replied, “Well, yes he is sweet, but I want to tip him because he is the only bagger in two years that has ever packed my bags the way I had asked for it to be done.”

But no,  tipping is not allowed. She said that a compliment would mean just as much as a tip to him. Hmmm. Even if someone is sweet, he can’t buy anything with compliments.

Since I could not tip him, I found him and paid him a compliment instead.  He actually hugged me.

What do You Value?

As I trudged back to the car, feeling a bit lighter,  in spite of the  congestion and fatigue from the bronchitis, I reflected on our priorities and values as a society.

We reward intelligence, but it  is conscientiousness and thoughtfulness that demonstrate  character.  We idealize the wealthy, expressing  disbelief that a violent crime could occur in their high class neighborhoods, and if so, the perpetrator must have been an outsider. We respect  the successful executives, while we penalize  the corporate whistle blower who risked his career for having the courage and integrity of his convictions. We unquestionably give credence, our trust and our loyalty  to people with power and prestige.  To a person that is compassionate and honest, we  give platitudes, isn’t that nice, isn’t he sweet, but they remain insignificant for us unless they also have status.

Given our priorities, we can hardly blame wall street for their actions.  A as a society, our values, the qualities we most respect and desire, are wealth rather than honesty, success rather than integrity , and power and prestige over fairness and compassion.

But it was David,  not those wealthy, successful and powerful individuals, who created a bit of sunshine in a rather long and trying day. David, rather than dismissing my request, as the more intelligent individuals had done, actually listened.  In addition, he demonstrated superb reasoning and conscientiousness when he bagged the cold foods together, non food items together, and produce together. Unlike the other baggers, he realized that putting fresh fruit under a can of soup, was not a good idea.

Yes, he was sweet, but he was also capable, caring, conscientiousness and valuable.  Character, integrity and value are independent of wealth, status or power.

Each of us is important, no matter our level of intelligence, status or wealth.  We each  can touch others’ lives in our own unique way. We can choose to remain self involved. Or we can choose to be aware and present to each moment and to the people that show up in it. We can choose to cast our judgments, rationalization, and fears  aside, and respond from the urgings of our heart and spirit.  You can never know when that one caring word, act or gesture may be the motivation that changes the course of someone’s life. Or puts a ray of hope in their day.

I may still slip David a tip.

The Paradoxical Commandments

by Lauren Kennedy http://www.InsitetoExcellence.com

The Paradoxical Commandments.

People are illogical, unreasonable and self-centered.
Love them Anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good Anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed Anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good Anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank Anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest mean and women with the smallest minds.
Think big Anyway.

People favor underdogs by follow only top dogs.
Fight for the underdogs Anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build Anyway.

People really need help but many attack you if you do help them.
Help people Anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have Anyway.

These commandments have a curious history. They were originally written by a high school student as a booklet for student leadership in the sixties. There were thirty thousand copies published by the National Association for Secondary Schools.

Thirty years later, the author Kent M. Keith,  discovered the Paradoxical Commandments in a book about Mother Teresa. She had hung them on a wall in one of her children’s homes. They had also made
their  way to a librarians internet site, and to a Professor from the University of Southern California who used them to begin her classes each semester.

Since then Kent Keith has written a short book entitled “Anyway” which briefly explores each commandment. It is a wonderfully insightful book. One of my favorite passages is as follows:

What is important is not whether anyone remembers. What is important is who you are as a person. What matters is how you live. If you are living authentically and generously, you won’t worry about whether anybody else knows or remembers.

We don’t have to prove that we are right, heroic or gracious to the world. In fact the act of doing so is more about our ego than about doing the next right thing. Demeaning or attacking others to gain support for our point of view is akin to shooting someone to resolve an argument. Instead, we must gain our motivation from within, and trust that those who are willing or able will follow our lead.

Here is a short poem by Emily Dickinson that illustrates the importance of a caring act, which is often more significant than leading and promoting a popular movement.

If I can stop one Heart from breaking
I shall not live in vain.
If I can ease one Life the Aching
Or cool one Pain
Or help one fainting Robin
Unto his Nest again
I shall not live in Vain.

If you wish to live authentically, to realize your potential, to give your best to the world, please contact me for a free 30 minute consultation.

Email: excellence@cinci.rr.com

Phone: 513-889-1870

Changes

by: Lauren Kennedy   http://www.InsitetoExcellence.com

Everything changes. It’s impossible to remain the same. Every experience, every encounter, every thought, every action and every feeling changes us in some way.

A leaf must drift with the wind. An insect reacts to its environment. And some animals have little choice but to follow their instincts. Humans have the gift of choice.

It is true that many times circumstances, events and people are beyond our control. Our feelings can arise before we have time to formulate a thought about the situation. But our attitude, our perception and our response is our choice.

We can learn to respond instead of react. We can understand that who we are Being affects our feelings. And we can expand our perception to minimize our fears, eradicate blame, and empower ourselves.

An Impossible Dream? Not at all. Remember every journey begins with the first step. Finding our way requires that we look with fresh eyes, discover new information, acquire new skills, and practice applying what we have learned. We may have to reach out for a guiding hand or an encouraging word to take that next step. It is our responsibility to ask for what we need to proceed on our journey.

Remember, knowing and not doing is the same as not knowing.

And where are we headed on our journey? All of us, every single one, have our sites set on lasting happiness, fulfillment and inner peace. Although our journeys may vary, our destination is the same.

Keep that in mind, when you are setting goals. Immediate happiness may feel good momentarily, but just like the euphoria of a drug induced high, it will quickly fade away to be replaced by a burning yearning inside.

As we choose each step of our journey, we may be unaware at the subtle changes occurring inside. But one day we will awake and notice that the colors seem brighter and the day ahead is inviting. And incredibly, the world, rather than a place full of danger to be avoided or controlled, is instead a wondrous place full of potential and exciting experiences from which to choose.

Claim Ownership of Your Life

by Lauren Kennedy   http://www.InsitetoExcellence.com

What If I left my body alone and unprotected ?
What would become of it?
Would someone steal my heart?
Would it be starved for nourishment?
Would someone control my brain?

What If I left my thoughts and beliefs unguarded?
And discounted the value of the content in my mind.
What set of beliefs would be replaced, and by whom?
Would I let another live rent free in my head?
Would another person steal my memories, replacing them with their own version?
Would someone control my ideas, goals  and direction?

What If I disregarded and ignored my feelings and intuition?
What treasures would I have given away?
Would I know when I was being used?
Would I realize when I was being manipulated for another person’s benefit?
Would I sense when to be cautious, when to take risks and when to jump for joy?

What If I no longer valued my life or myself?
What would become of me?
Would I feel disempowered and unimportant?
Would I allow another person’s thoughts, needs, feelings and desires to take precedence over my own?
Would my life be an exercise in suffering and endurance?

But what if I owned and accepted all of me -  mind, body and spirit?

Would I then respect and nurture my body as a wondrous vehicle for my spirit,
That enables me to sense, move, interact and communicate with my world?

Would I then value my thoughts and beliefs,
That reflect my principles and guide my decisions,
That are the harvested gems of my hard won experience.

Would I then embrace my feelings and intuition as the language of my Soul,
That inform me about my environment, illuminate who I am being, reveal my hopes and desires,
That ignites my passions, motivating me to action, giving  meaning and satisfaction to my spirit.

Would I then treasure my self as the source of special, unique qualities,
That I alone have the potential to express and contribute to the world?

Would I recognize which personal changes are in alignment with my own truth,and which changes result from fear, manipulation or pressure to compromise my values and priorities?

Would I know that my intuition is a gift of guidance from my spirit?

Would I have the self discipline  to remain consciously aware, experience life fully, and live according to my principles?

Would I value and respect all life completely?

Would I have the courage to be true to myself and realize my true potential,
In spite of social norms, the criticism of friends and family or the loss of respect?

Could I love and accept myself each moment?
Could I honor and respect all life completely?

Who then will I become, what will I know and how will I feel?

I feel enthusiasm and passion each day.
I understand that life has meaning and I know my Purpose.
I am living my truth and creating myself in the image of my grandest potential.

This is the path to ultimate success,
And the highway to lasting fulfillment.

If you want a Program that will reveal the road to true success and fulfillment, “The Path to Ultimate Success and Inner Peace” is your answer. Call or email us for a free 30 minute consultation. Ask for Lauren.

excellence@cinci.rr.com

513-889-1870

Truth. Yours or Mine?

by Lauren Kennedy – http://www.InsitetoExcellence.com

“Knock. Knock.”

” Who’s there?”

” Truth.”

” Truth Who?”

” Mine or Yours?”

And there in lies the dilemma. And the source of immense conflict.

We like to think that truth is absolute, explicit, definite, unambiguous and most of all knowable. But what is truth? Are there universal truths that apply to everyone and everything, at all times, in every situation, rigid and inflexible? How do we know if something is, in fact true?

Following are the dictionary’s various definitions of truth.

* “Something that is factual.”

* “Something that is generally believed to be true.”

* “A fact or concept that is scientifically proven.”

* ” Conformity to a certain standard or law.”

* ” Something that corresponds to reality.”

* “A religious truth.”

But none of these definition unequivocally define a truth. Instead, they describe the methods that we use to validate a particular truth, or more accurately, a belief. Each of these methods are fallible, influenced by society’s views, upheld by those in power,or a mater of perception, control or convenience.

For instance, at one time Europeans  generally believed that the world was flat. That was “something that is generally believed to be true.” Go too far and you fall of the edge of the earth they would say. Many people thought Christopher Columbus was sailing to his doom.

“A religious truth” was stated to be that the sun revolved around the earth. Anyone who dared to disagree was subject to prosecution. Therefore, that definition  can also be fallible.

How about “conformity to a certain standard or law”? At one point in time, the standard and law in the south was that slavery was acceptable. Many people conformed in their beliefs and actions to the idea that slaves were sub humans, deserving no more respect than livestock. In time our laws matured enough to outlaw slavery. Unfortunately, some people have been slow to evolve or expand their perception and understand the spiritual principle of different but equal.

Let’s look at those ” things that correspond to reality.” At one point in time people believed that their own misfortune was the result of their neighbor, the witch. They were so certain of this reality that they eagerly sent one neighbor after another to the pyre without a second thought or moment of remorse. Conviction after conviction, sentence after sentence was carried out with no evidence, simply someone’s claim that their own misfortune must have been caused by a witch. And then they pointed the finger at someone they knew, one of their neighbors, relatives, the strange person in the village or someone who was an inconvenience or annoyance to them.

We may not burn witches at the stake, but we  still seem to seek revenge as a way to ease the pain of a tragedy or react with fear in an attempt to control something that we find threatening.

Even scientist have had to revise the “facts that they thought had been scientifically proven.” When I was in grade school, I asked the teacher how long ago  South American and Africa were joined together. She told me I had an over active imagination. Continents were way too large and heavy to move.

It always amazed me that scientists,  could categorically reject the obvious based on their inability to explain it. Everyday scientists are discovering new information that dispels some of their most dearly held convictions.

Misleading is Untruthful

Another problem with facts as truth is this. If I chose, I could recount a situation or incident to you, giving you the facts, never uttering a false word, and still lead you to a false conclusion. Now, consider the public relations advisers, the spin professionals, who aren’t concerned if  a minor untruth slips in now and again. They can  have you skipping down the Yellow Brick Road ready to ambush the  Big Bad witch with nothing but the the shiny ruby red shoes they sold you to put on your feet.

Our Five Senses Are Limited

Many people still hold to the concept that reality is what we can see, hear, taste, smell or touch. If it doesn’t register with one of our five senses, it doesn’t exist. This is amazing in the era of atom bashing and quark detection (subatomic particles that scientist can’t even see). So how do they know they exist? Consider the air on a still day. You can’t see, hear, taste, touch or smell it, except perhaps on a hot day in New York during a garbage strike. But if you look at a tall tree, you will notice that its leaves at the very top are slightly swaying. In the same way, scientists know that quarks exists by the reaction and results that they observe when smashing particle together at incredible speeds.

Some dogs can  smell cancer cells long before our sophisticated instruments can detect them. Birds can see radiation the same way that we see color. Before technology, humans were unable to see or detect  that part of the light spectrum. Does that mean it didn’t exist? Of course, if they were avid sun bathers, they did notice the effect of some parts of the invisible light spectrum.

Other animals can detect the earth’s magnetic force, a useful sense for navigation when you don’t have hands to hold a compass. And what about people who are colorblind and can’t differentiate red and green. Does that mean that those colors don’t exist? Are the rest of us  are just imagining them, or dreaming them.

Religious Truths

Religious truths are a real quagmire. Everyone thinks that their sacred texts, and their interpretations are the ultimate truth. Many of these stories were  passed for years from one person to another by word of mouth until they were finally transcribed. Have you ever played telephone? The quagmire gets deeper still, when one considers translation, colloquialisms, and the writings that were omitted, at least from the Bible, for reasons of control, power, bias, by the early clergy to gain power and control for their version of religious truth.  The first to fourth century religious elders and popes were more concerned about obtaining a power base and choosing scriptures and interpretations that validated their traditional social views, than they were about ensuring that the spirit and message of the word of Christ was accurately preserved.

The fact is that most of the ideas or concepts that we label as truth are actually beliefs, not facts, hence not the truth. None of the dictionary’s definitions actually define truth. They just describe our system for proclaiming that something is the truth at a particular point in time.The problem is that facts change, our version of reality changes, laws and standards change, society changes and different religions have  different versions of the truth.

The Best Definition

The best definition that I discovered, the one that has the potential to come closest to the truth was this: “An accurate account or description of alignment, setting, position or shape.”

But once again, this definition is also subject to error. Giving an accurate account depends on what we perceive. As mentioned earlier, we can only perceive what our senses detect. A dog may hear something that we cannot or an eagle may see something we could not. Unfortunately, we can not understand other species’ language, although our pets, with inferior intellectual capacities (according to our truths),  have learned to understand some of ours.  Hence we are unable to benefit from the information they gather with their more acute senses.

Perception Obscures the Truth

The next obstacle is our mental perception. We often only see what we expect to see. In addition, we make assumptions about what we see, based on our experiences, our beliefs, our attitude, our fears and our biases. These assumptions can occur automatically and lightening quick, so we are not aware of the process. By the time the situation registers in our conscious brain, some information may be excluded, some information inferred, and some created. But to our mind, it is what happened, it is the truth.

Are you beginning to see the dilemma? And just to really make your head spin, consider this. If we really create our life situation as some beliefs suggest, and if human consciousness influences the world, world situations, and even DNA, then may be we are constantly creating a new reality. According to the dictionary one definition of truth is reality. If we are indeed creating new realities, then are we also creating new truths?

How does one make choices when truth appears to be plastic and malleable, debatable, changeable  and unknowable?  How can truth be a fixed, unchanging declaration, when  the basis for truth, reality, is subject to change? And it not only reality that may be subject to change, our perceptions definitely change moment to moment.

Honesty Is the Best Policy

Honest communication can eliminate much of the confusion and misinformation that occurs, even if we have yet to discover the ultimate universal truths. Truth and honesty, in practice,  are not necessarily the same thing. I can inform you of a situation, perhaps a new policy coming up for a vote, or relay a description about a course of action that someone followed, etc. I can present the facts, never uttering a falsehood, but still (intentionally or otherwise) lead you to a false conclusion or impression. I have been technically and legally truthful. But I have still been dishonest, manipulative and deceitful. So that is a practice that I avoid, however tempting or superficially self serving it may appear to be.

The Benefits of Rigorous Self Honesty

The discipline of rigorous self honesty is a powerful practice that brings clarity, insight and direction to my life. This means that I am honest with myself and others about my intentions and motives. I don’t mislead myself or others about my true motives in order to make a good impression, manipulate opinion, or control behavior. Engaging in emotional blackmail by instilling fear, guilt or power plays is equally dishonest.

Honesty includes living with authenticity and integrity, meaning that my choices, decisions and behaviors are congruent with my principles, priorities, beliefs. Rigorous self honesty also includes acknowledging my true feelings, needs and fears.  To accomplish this level of honesty requires present moment awareness, courage and objective self observation.   My record is far from perfect, and discovering my true feelings, needs and intentions has been a difficult and sometimes painful feat a for a woman that spent over half her life playing  a academy award version of Pollyanna meets superwoman. For a time, I had even believed  that I didn’t need anything or anybody and that I was never angry.

Our true feelings  are often inconvenient, contrary to society’s  image of a strong, responsible and positive person, triggering our sense of vulnerability. But we have been sold a pack of lies. It takes a far more courageous and much stronger individual to acknowledge their own truth than it does to avoid and resist it by substituting pretty thoughts and acceptable emotions. When we avoid, dismiss, deny, or cover our feelings they are not eliminated .

What we resist, persists, and that includes our feelings.

In order to become who we want to be, in order to reach our potential, we must first acknowledge, accept and experience who we truly are. To remodel a house, I must first understand what I want to change, what I want to keep, what elements work and which do not. I must uncover the cracks in the foundation, the leaks in the pipes, the mold in the basement. I  can choose to remain unaware of them, and just apply a quick coat of paint and a positive attitude, but the cracks, leaks and mold will eventually topple the structural foundation around me.

We do not change what we refuse to acknowledge.

We may not agree on what is “The Truth,” but we can discover our own inner truth, the truth of who we are. Then through objective observation we can discover and fix the cracks, mend the leaks and eliminate the harmful mold within.  If we refuse to honestly experience and release our feelings, if we resist honestly acknowledging our true motives and hidden agendas, those  lies will destroy our inner foundation. When we ignore, cover up or deny  our feelings, priorities, motives, and needs,  we loose our connection with our true source of wisdom.

We resist acknowledging those personal truths,(feelings, intent, motives) that we judge to be negative. But their existence will not be denied. In our attempt to ignore them or cover them up, their energy(that we have judge to be negative) simmers inside and grows in strength. The more we resist it, the more our own truth persists in its need for expression and release. Eventually, in spite of our best efforts,  it will surface through emotional outbursts, compulsions, justifications, compromised principles and emptiness. The truth that we are trying so hard to control, deny, and avoid experiencing will eventually control and destroy us unless we begin to embrace the truth of who we are being.

Our feelings hold a wealth of information. Acknowledged, experienced and released, they dissipate quickly and thus have no energy to attract negativity. Observing our feelings, motives, intentions,and fears, informs us of the cracks in the foundation that need healing, identifies the fears that leak in and obscure our perceptions  and reveals the mold that is blocking us from expressing our truth, our essence, our spirit.

Feelings are the language of our Soul. And that may be as close to a source of truth as we may be able to achieve. So why do we regularly avoid or ignore our personal path to our truth?

Honesty is Living Our Own Truth

I don’t have to know “The Truth” to be  honest in my interactions  with life, with others and with myself. If I am true to my priorities, purpose and beliefs,  if I consciously choose to live and express the truth of who I am, if my focus is authenticity and integrity , then I will never live a lie. As I grow, my priorities and beliefs may change. My truths may even evolve and expand.  But by adhering to the principle of self honesty, I will never live a lie.  And I will have lived my truth.

Each moment that we choose to be honest and authentic, we are living our truth.  And by focusing on our own inner truth, we will know and recognize The Truth when it comes to knock on our door.

“Knock. Knock.”

” Who There?”

” Honesty.”

” Honesty Who?”

“I am honestly living my truth.”

You have the right and responsibility to live yours.

It Matters

  by Lauren Kennedy http://www.InsitetoExcellence.com

Where does Peace on Earth begin?

It begins with me, with each of us. It cannot be just a nice concept or vision that we hope will materialize.

It must begin with our own priorities, integrity and choices. As long as we desire and respect power, wealth and success, more than we respect cooperation and compassion, nothing can change.

What Do You Tell Your Children

Parents say they want their children to grow up to be successful, respected, with and important job position. Seldom do they say I just want my children to be compassionate, honest and follow their own truth.

We are conditioning the next generation to be competitive, not cooperative. As long as we let fear dictate our decisions, our priorities and our action, peace will remain only a vision.

We must demonstrate peace in our own lives by showing tolerance and non-judgment. We can’t turn our heads when we encounter corruption, dishonesty or ignorance in our presence.

We Can Not Accept the Lie

We can no longer accept the common assumption that one can not live according to spiritual principles in business affairs. We can no longer condemn those that are different from us. We can no longer let fear justify our intolerance, our attempts to control, or our disrespect for others, the planet and its creatures. Nor can we conclude that our efforts are meaningless.

Instead we must begin to believe that what we do matters. It matters if we choose honesty rather than manipulation and deceit in business. It matter every time we are accepting rather than judgmental. It matters when we stand up for integrity instead of condoning greed by our silence.

One person may not change the world, but one person at a time will.  The changes, attitudes, and perspective that would make the world better for all can only be realized if we become an example of those changes, attitudes and perspectives.

We often do not see or realize the effect that our example, our understanding and  our compassion has on others. But make no mistake, it is how we live and interact with others that has the greatest, if less noticeable affect on the world.

Act Because It Is Needed, Not For Reward

We help others the most,  not when we are trying to be noble, or appear spiritual. Then we are making a trade, our noble efforts for respect, praise or reward in the hereafter.

It was when I got out of my head,  connected to others’ with my heart and then acted accordingly that I discovered I truly made a difference. I didn’t realize it at the time because I wasn’t focused on the helpful act I was performing. I was simply doing what my heart told me  was needed.

Mother Teresa

Mother Teresa said, “I would not march against war, but I would march for peace.” That is the difference between fighting for peace, (which does not work), and being peace.

As long as peace remains a concept, it cannot become a reality. We can only manifest peace by acting, speaking, choosing and living in peaceful ways. And that can only happen when we stop focusing on our image, begin experiencing life in the moment and connecting to others from our heart.

Be What You Want to Experience

It takes awareness, honesty and courage. But as each of us expresses peace in our own lives, others will begin to express it in theirs. And when we express peace, we will experience peace, as least internally. And internal peace is where it really counts anyway.

Peace matters. Each time you express peace through understanding and compassion, by connecting heart to heart rather than image to image, it matters. We all make a difference. What we do matters.

Peace on Earth begin with you and me. What you do matters. It matters. Because Peace on Earth matters.

And it can only exist through us. We all matter.

Keep Hope Alive

Yesterday, I was doubtful that we would turn around global warming.

Yesterday I had concerns about barriers that my children may face.

Yesterday, I believed that we may destroy ourselves and the world through conflict based on power, aggression and judgment.

Yesterday I felt an unshakable cynicism of the “haves” ever extending understanding and respect to the “have nots”.

Yesterday I didn’t feel very patriot nor especially proud of the recent course of my country.

A New Hope

Today I have hope.

Today, I believe that perhaps we will make the sacrifices to over come global warming.

Today, I believe that the barriers that my bi-racial children face will be pebbles rather than walls.

Today, I have hope that we can resolve the threat to our existence.

Today, I feel patriotic for the first time in my adult life.

The president elect is, admittedly,  a charismatic, inspiring, positive leader, with character, self discipline, understanding, and perseverance.  But he is only  the instrument of my hope, but not the reason for it.

The Reason for Hope

What truly gives me hope is that people of every color, of every background, and of nearly every economic class, (ok, I still have a little cynicism), have chosen a person of color to lead the nation, have chosen a policy of cooperation over competition, have committed to compassion instead of greed, and have upheld the value of service above of self serving.

Perhaps, the result of the election, was due in part to the dismal state of the economy. In the words of a republican statesman, “When your house is on fire, you don’t care what color the fireman is.”

It is a fine example of a cloud with a silver lining. But we must remember what created the original cloud when we finally see the sunshine again.

Even so, it gives us the opportunity to experience a new model of civilization.

I remain hopeful that we will recognize the benefits of a model of government that truly demonstrates equality and respect for all humans.

I have hope that we will realized that cooperation, compassion, and service is more valuable than our own self centered fear and greed.

And I pray that we will  protect this new spirit of good will towards all  from “perishing from the earth.”

Road Map to Success

Road Map to Success! by Lauren Kennedy http://www.InsitetoExcellence.com

You have determined your goal, charted your course and visualized your success. You’re revved up, enthusiastic, and convinced that you finally have discovered the winning formula.  Confident that you have left nothing to chance, you  launch yourself  into action, sights fixed on your target goal. You are totally immersed in  your quest. Absorbed by the desire to succeed, you refuse to allow life’s annoyances to interfere with your plans. Your attention is riveted on your goal, and any distractions are met with annoyance.    You press on, convinced that life’s ultimate trophy, success, is within your grasp.

Then it happens. Once again you are repeatedly charging into obstacle after obstacle, battered and bruised. You become exhausted, drained of energy, unable to force yourself to take another step. May be you are dazed and disoriented from devotedly forging ahead on the latest “Make more money than you can spend,” strategy, only to find yourself overwhelmed and deeper in debt.  This is not the ending you had envisioned.

What, you wonder, are you doing wrong?

You’re not alone.

There is an never ending supply of information and informers. We could research the various strategies for success for a lifetime and still not exhaust the supply. And the ones we did research would contradict one another. It is a true quagmire when you are new to the games without any basic foundation, concepts or guidelines to which you can compare the new information you are receiving.

I discovered first hand the disillusioning affects of doggedly adhering to strategies that aren’t working. I shelled out hundreds for the privledge of getting in on the ultimate business opportunities or advertising campaign. The talented sales personal excelled at repeatedly wearing me  down through manipulation, guaranteeing a substantial return on my investment,   implying that I lacked vision if I resisted, or promising to personally ensure my success.

Business Principles

I have listened in amazement as entrepreneurs confidently proclaimed that adhering to personal principles was unnecessary and unprofitable in business. They rationalized that being dishonest in business matters did not make one dishonest in character. The inference is that if you are a business person, you are not responsible or accountable for your actions or the consequences. This notion has been clearly demonstrated by wall streets expectation that their victims are responsible for footing the bill to bail them out so they can continue conducting business as usual.

It’s Up To You

But no matter. The important thing is to stop and evaluate the choices that we are making. Otherwise,  we become, overwhelmed, over tired, over worked and over committed. We exploded with frustration and then crash and burn. Or we become physically and emotionally exhausted, and fizzle out completely. Confusion, inadequately, and resignation are the result.

But that doesn’t mean that you are at a dead end street. And your dismal results aren’t caused by a lack of ability, commitment, or determination. But you do need a set of guidelines to help you identify truth from fiction, reality from fairy tales, and responsibility from rationalization and justification.

Top that end, I have included some mistaken assumptions and basic guidelines below.

Mistaken Assumption 1.

“You can have it all.” This is an attempt to sanction “You can have your cake and eat it too”. Believe me, I dedicated many years,  determined to find a way to do that. And I ended up just plain hungry. You can have everything, just not at the same time. No matter how efficient you become at multi tasking, excellence demands focus, awareness and complete involvement. Try patting your head and rubbing your stomach. You may pull it off with practice, but it requires total focus, leaving you unable to respond or even notice present circumstances, developing situations, or arising opportunities.

Plus the necessary preoccupation required to stay on top of your multi tasks, steals your awareness away from the present. You go through the motions of living. But when you are distracted by mental gymnastics, you can not experience or enjoy the present, whether that is appreciating a beautiful sunset, feeling the unconditional love when your child hugs you, or enjoying the support and camaraderie of a close friend.

There is no no opening for a creative idea that may be the answer to a difficult situation. Plus rubbing your head and patting your stomach simultaneously is no longer much fun after the novelty wears off.

Mistaken Assumption  2.

“The only limits are the ones that you create.” The truth is that we all, as a condition of being human, have certain physical, emotional and intellectual limitations. Some of these can be minimized with time and effort. But no matter how sincerely a schizophrenic believes he is Napoleon, he will never conquered France. Similarly no matter  how committed I am to  getting by with one hour of sleep a night, my body is going to object, and strongly. Believing that I can fly like a bird will result in even greater physical peril.

OK. So perhaps those are extreme examples. But we suffer in less obvious ways every time we deny our needs.  A few individuals may be evolved to the point of transcending these physical limits, but most of us haven’t reached that level.  We all have our individual sleep, exercise and relaxation requirements. Some of us have certain physical limitations brought on by birth, lifestyle, karma or experience. Some people thrive on stress while others find it debilitating.

Our life circumstances create other limits on our time, energy, and responsibilities. Family, children, especially those with issues or special needs, financial challenges, etc. require additional time and energy.  There is only 24 hours in a day. Therefore, your individual circumstances do  influence how much time and energy you can devote to your goal.

We all have certain limits on our time,  energy and coping abilities. You can push yourself and ignore rather than honor  your physical and emotional needs.  You can neglect some responsibilities and compromise some principles in your determination to achieve your goals. But the pot at the end of the rainbow will not be filled with gold but regret, cynicism, or callousness.

But your dreams have no limits. And you can achieve the essence of whatever you dream.  It is only how you achieve it that is in question. But limits are really challenges. Honestly and courageously met, the result is a giant step toward achieving the essence of your dream.

Here’s an irony about our schizophrenic.

Although he may not convince anyone else that he is Napoleon, his belief and attitude allows him to experience himself as Napoleon. Our motivation for a particular goal or dream is our belief that by achieving it, we will experience: happiness, security, freedom, fill in the blank. That is the essence or our dream or goal.

Mistaken Assumption 3.

“Don’t devote time, energy or focus on anything that isn’t furthering your goal, i.e making money.” There are moments when this concept would be a welcome excuse to boot my kids out of my office, tune out my husbands critiques and in depth suggestions, and justify neglecting “lesser” responsibilities. Aware focus, persistence and dedication may be required to achieve your dream. But neglecting  things that aren’t directly contributing to your success creates imbalance in our life. It increases our tendency to live unconsciously – on autopilot, to become obsessive about our goal,  to ignore the important thongs in our life and to miss the journey.

Success becomes more important than relationships or self awareness. Integrity is compromised by the rationalization that the ends justify the means. The goal should never be more important than your life journey. If your actions don’t adhere to your values and principles, you may reach your goal, but you might not like that person you have become when you get there.

Go For It!

Yes, go for you dreams. That is who you are and what you are meant to do. And yes, reach for the moon, you may just get to the stars. Never give up your dream because of obstacles or hardships. But if you keep getting beat up along the way, if you are consistently sliding backwards, if you are becoming less of the person you want to be, here’s a road map that will get you back on the freeway to your goals.

Road Map to the Stars.

Adopt these concepts as the guidelines for your attitude, behaviors and choices and your engines willing be purring again.

There is Abundance enough for all. You own the title to an abundance of it.

Don’t limit your dreams. You wouldn’t have them it you couldn’t achieve them. But be open minded about the path you take and listen and heed your inner guidance showing you the “How”.

Determine why you are striving to reach a particular goal. We choose our goal because of how the goal will make us feel, not because of the goal itself. Anything that fosters that feeling is time well spent. Practice being the person you want to become. Avoid people that encourage negative behavior, demoralize or discourage you. This is not the same as avoiding people who are suffering or in need of support.

Make certain that it is your dream and not someone else’s expectations for you. Your goals should be motivated by desire and passion, not by old guilt, fears, or by the need for approval.

Make it your priority, but not your sole responsibility. You may have to give up some leisure activities for a time. But the things you value and the principles that you hold dear cannot be compromised.

Don’t deny your physical and emotional needs and requirements. It may be tempting to sleep less. We may think we can ignore our needs for relaxation, self care, personal interactions, emotional support. But just like a car that doesn’t get proper maintenance, you will burn out or miss the turn. Don’t become so obsessed with your goal that you forget to refuel.

Choose a direction that is stimulating and empowering.  Make a plan. Chart your course. Anticipate detours but avoid u-turns. Then trust yourself. Don’t second guess yourself every time someone criticizes your choices or suggests that you should try something new. Instead, exhibit the attitude, confidence and bearing that you will have once your goal is realized. But live in the in the present moment.

Proceed with trust and courage. Then expect the impossible.

FYI – If you are struggling to find direction, motivation, courage or empowerment, we have a Life Coaching program that will fit your needs and provide effective methods for developing the characteristics necessary for your success.

Business Is No Exception

Success – Goal or Destination? – by Lauren Kennedy – http://www.InsitetoExcellence.com

Many people justify the ideas that their values and principle need not apply in business dealings.

Our behavior in business cannot be separate from who we are. If we are selfish in business, we are selfish. If we are dishonest and manipulative to get ahead, then we are dishonest and manipulative. Values and principles do not change to fit the circumstance or one’s present goal. We create ourselves with each action.

But it is our true intention and motivation behind our actions that is most important.

If we promote a bogus product unintentionally, that is very different from knowingly promoting a bogus product. However, we cannot continue to claim ignorance after we realize that it is necessary to research the product before we decide to promote it.

If we achieve our goals at the expense of our character and integrity, then perhaps we must reevaluate our goals. Or perhaps we never really developed our character in the first place.

If we have walked on the backs of others to achieve success, we may get the social prestige, outward respect and control that we crave, but we won’t experience inner peace. Inner peace is impossible when we don’t respect ourselves, no matter how much we try to deny or justify.

We can try  to silence that voice by focusing on our next incredible accomplishment, just like the alcoholic reaching for the next drink to ease the pain. And we can bask in the praise of our entourage and try to convince ourselves that we did nothing wrong. But we cannot not run away from ourselves.

True character and courage is living according to our principles regardless of the outcome. True success is measured by how we live, not by what we accomplish.

The most spiritual prophets, no matter their religious background, had the same message, once one eliminates the cultural dogma,

Love others as yourself. The Golden Rule.

It doesn’t say except in business.

Freedom!

Freedom! – by Lauren Kennedy http://www.InsitetoExcellence.com

Freedom is one of life’s most precious gifts. But even gifts require maintenance, appreciation, and responsibility. And freedom, like all gifts, come with inherent responsibility.

By it’s nature,  freedom includes transformation, risk, and  revelation. You cannot have freedom and at the same time expect total protection, compliance and safety.

The freedom to drive a vehicle, comes with the possibility of being involved in a car accident. The freedom to make our own decisions includes accepting the consequences that result from our choices. And a citizen in a free country cannot expect that the police, the armed forces, secret government agencies and the government itself, will insure protection from everyone at all times.

In the aftermath of 911, we have closed our eyes while the government has slowly chipped away at our rights. We have condoned, by our silence, the use of torture. We would have condemned another country if they had behaved likewise. We have looked the other way as individuals in our country have been whisked off the street, imprisoned and denied outside communication, based solely on vague suspicions, ethnic background, personal beliefs or reading preferences.

We have been so intent on revenge that we have stood by while the executive branch over reached their their position, made their own rules and led us into a war, through propaganda and false information, in order to pursue their personal agenda.

I realize that certain precautions are necessary. Airline security, background checks for violent affiliations before foreigners enter the country, cooperation between the various government organizations so pertinent information can be assimilated to implement precautions to prevent violence against US citizens.
But the gift of freedom will only survive if we are diligent in our responsibilities. We cannot give up our rights because of fear, righteous indignation, or apathy. Freedom requires that we value human rights, civil rights and demand the truth from our officials even when it is inconvenient. It requires that we honor justice but not revenge. It means that we demonstrate the integrity to admit our mistakes and the virtue to make the appropriate changes. Freedom means that we refuse to join in on a witch hunt. We can not tolerate using  force as a shortcut to diplomacy, compromising human rights, relinquishing personal liberties and being feed misinformation. They are not compatible with freedom. And we must become wise enough to realize that  control and life without risks is not only the antithesis of freedom but also quite impossible.

To remain truly free, we must upload the principles of honesty, integrity, respect for all humans, tolerance for everyone’s personal beliefs and an allowance to various lifestyles.

War, torture, disregard for human rights, discounting the facts because they interfere with an agenda, looking the other way while our rights are being dismantled, and blindly accepting false justifications for questionable decisions are not about making ourselves and our country safer. They are about eradicating our own  uncomfortable feelings of powerlessness through force and invincibility. They are about justifying our hunger for revenge. They are about our mistaken belief that we can somehow make life completely safe, fully under our control in every situation or circumstance and convincing ourselves that we are totally blameless, totally noble and always right.

Perhaps we have decided that freedom is too great a responsibility. Perhaps we would rather give in to our fears, pain and out rage. Perhaps we think that revenge and blame are the easiest, quickest way to silence our painful emotions. Perhaps we lack the courage to stand up for the principles of freedom when the going gets tough.

And if that is so, perhaps we lack the character, honesty, integrity and wisdom to retain the precious gift of freedom that we have had the good fortune to enjoy.