Guidelines for a Successful Life

by Lauren Kennedy    http://www.InsitetoExcellence.com

Have you being searching for the truth, for meaning and for purpose.  Have you have read book after book, listened to audios, purchased programs, studied various concepts of spirituality, and read multiple interpretations  of the real Law of Attraction?

Have you found the answers that you have been seeking? Or are confusion, self doubt, resignation, or cynicism replacing your quest for meaning and purpose? Have you been unable to achieve the magnificent results that the  programs and experts promised, resulting in  increasing feelings of inadequacy and powerlessness? Or have you concluded that it is all a bunch of garbage and life is determined by accidental interaction of molecules. Or may be the experts have convinced you that you are one of those people are simply intellectually lazy, or possess the hopelessly negative mindset of the masses.

I began asking myself questions about the meaning of life when I was 12. I agonized over what my Purpose was, what it meant to be a spiritual person and live a spiritual life, what God’s will was for me.

I have at least five, six foot bookcases filled with books on spirituality, self growth, psychology, particle physics and astronomy.. And I have actually read them all. I have purchased programs, attended workshops, paid for college courses, interviews experts and questioned gurus. I have worked at a facility as a professional counselor , employing  the techniques and concepts of the day. I have created programs, facilitated group and individual sessions, using a combination of my professional knowledge and experience. I spent time at an ashram, attended retreats that applied Buddhist concepts and others that applied Hindu concepts. I am familiar with the Rumi, the Koran, the Kabala, the Dead Sea Scrolls and of course the Bible.

Now I am 54.. I don’t have all the answers, or even all the questions. But I have experienced much and gained some knowledge, crucial for living a meaningful life with integrity.
Guidelines for Life

No book or program can give me my answer. The most they can do is present ideas, give me an expanded perspective,  point me in a new direction or at times misdirect me. I must use only the information that resonates with my spirit, and apply it to my life

To guide my life in a positive direction and reach my potential, I must develop informed conclusions from the information that I receive. But more importantly, I must listen intently to my inner guidance, , decide which beliefs to discard and which to create, establish my principles, priorities and truths.

Crucially, I must turn knowledge into application. I must live according to my principles, priorities and truths in all areas of my life, continue to trust my inner knowing and have the courage of my convictions. But I must also remain  flexible and be willing to adjust my course, depending on the feedback from the Universe.

Wealth and power, in themselves do not provide happiness and satisfaction. However, they do buy enough distraction and moments of ego gratification to quiet the gnawing emptiness to an occasional vague dissatisfaction.

Sometimes I have to be okay with not knowing all the answers or exactly where life is leading me.  Even so, I must remain aware of new information, pay attention to the sign posts, and be aware of the inner nudging so I don’t miss my turn or my destination.

How I do something is more important than what I do. Gaining my objective by compromising my principles may be a win, but it is not success. It is my true intentions and choices reflect my integrity and spirituality. The outcome only affects how others will judge me.

The equation for creating a fulfilling life is: focusing on my passion, striving to reach my highest potential and putting other people’s well being ahead of my objectives,my agendas, my personal success, my judgments and my image.  Although, this is not always the equation for reaching the pinnacle of material power and success,  I do receive true fulfillment and personal freedom.  In addition,  living my passion may not always pay the bills. But I still get paid, and that is in a currency that lasts, and only increases in value.

You can not please society, your employer, your family, your friends, the critics in your head, your ego and your true authentic self. Choose One.

Following your heart does not lead to selfish or self centered behavior. But trying to avoid your fears, your insecurities, avoiding or repressing unpleasant feelings, keeping up an image, making ego gratification a priority, and trying to control outcomes and appearances will.  Instead focus on Being the person you truly want to become.

These guidelines may not always result in tremendous wealth, power and influence. However, if you apply them, you will gain a sense of empowerment, find fulfillment and meaning in your life, experience a sense of personal freedom and a connection to your inner spirit or essence. And those are the ingredients for happiness.

After all, happiness is really what we are all seeking in our own way.

Guidelines for application.

If you are not an avid reader, or if you are just tired of the search,  apply these guidelines and your life will improve.

1. Treat others the way you would want others to treat your family or yourself.

2. To Thine own Self be true. ( This means true to your authentic self, not your fears, image, or ego

3. And when applying the above, use the guideline below.

Grant me …

The serenity to accept the things I can not change, (you will bang your head against the wall less often)
The courage to change the things I can,  (you  will gain a sense of empowerment and accountability)
And the wisdom to know the difference. ( so you won’t get them ass backward like I did for many years.)

If you are interested in further guidance or support, call or email me for a free 30 minute consultation.

513-889-1870

excellence@cinci.rr.com

The Paradoxical Commandments

by Lauren Kennedy http://www.InsitetoExcellence.com

The Paradoxical Commandments.

People are illogical, unreasonable and self-centered.
Love them Anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good Anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed Anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good Anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank Anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest mean and women with the smallest minds.
Think big Anyway.

People favor underdogs by follow only top dogs.
Fight for the underdogs Anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build Anyway.

People really need help but many attack you if you do help them.
Help people Anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have Anyway.

These commandments have a curious history. They were originally written by a high school student as a booklet for student leadership in the sixties. There were thirty thousand copies published by the National Association for Secondary Schools.

Thirty years later, the author Kent M. Keith,  discovered the Paradoxical Commandments in a book about Mother Teresa. She had hung them on a wall in one of her children’s homes. They had also made
their  way to a librarians internet site, and to a Professor from the University of Southern California who used them to begin her classes each semester.

Since then Kent Keith has written a short book entitled “Anyway” which briefly explores each commandment. It is a wonderfully insightful book. One of my favorite passages is as follows:

What is important is not whether anyone remembers. What is important is who you are as a person. What matters is how you live. If you are living authentically and generously, you won’t worry about whether anybody else knows or remembers.

We don’t have to prove that we are right, heroic or gracious to the world. In fact the act of doing so is more about our ego than about doing the next right thing. Demeaning or attacking others to gain support for our point of view is akin to shooting someone to resolve an argument. Instead, we must gain our motivation from within, and trust that those who are willing or able will follow our lead.

Here is a short poem by Emily Dickinson that illustrates the importance of a caring act, which is often more significant than leading and promoting a popular movement.

If I can stop one Heart from breaking
I shall not live in vain.
If I can ease one Life the Aching
Or cool one Pain
Or help one fainting Robin
Unto his Nest again
I shall not live in Vain.

If you wish to live authentically, to realize your potential, to give your best to the world, please contact me for a free 30 minute consultation.

Email: excellence@cinci.rr.com

Phone: 513-889-1870

Courage +Risk = Freedom

by Lauren Kennedy – http://www.InsitetoExcellence.com

Risk is inherent to living.  To be born is to risk dying. To stand up is to risk falling.  To speak is to risk dispute. To choose is to risk criticism. To act is to risk failure. To die is to risk the unknown.

Risk triggers our fears because it requires taking a step into the untried, unproven and always into the unknown.

We normally think of risk in terms of actions that we take: going for that job interview, asking for a raise, changing careers, leaving a detrimental relationship or going sky diving.

But it is the emotional risks that transform our character, our attitude, and our lives in the most profound and lasting ways. Emotional risks require us to face and walk through our fears. But it is the emotional risks that empower us with the passion and courage to routinely take that giant step into the unknown.

The following poem by an anonymous author describes these emotional risks.

Risk

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental or weak
To reach out for another is to risk involvement or obligation
To place your dreams before the crowd is to risk ridicule
To love is to risk loss, pain or rejection
To go forward in the face of overwhelming odds, is to risk failure
But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing
The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing , is nothing.
He may avoid suffering and sorrow,
But he cannot learn, change, or  grow
And he will not appreciate the wonder of life,
Nor will he experience  the joy of passion or the fulfillment of love
Chained by his certitudes and fears, he is a slave.
He has forfeited his freedom and himself.
Only a person who takes risks can experience life’s wonders.
Only a person who takes risks  will enjoy the freedom
To realize their potential, and touch the stars.

Anonymous

Are you free?