Responsibility Revealed

July 18, 2008 at 3:34 am Leave a comment

by Lauren Kennedy –

Being a responsible person has become synonymous with maturity, good character, dependability, and accomplishment. These are all positive traits. Traits that we want to claim. And we want others to view us as responsible people.

Since we were children we repeatedly heard about the importance of responsibility. As adults, we strive to be responsible. But what exactly does it mean to be responsible? In truth we frequently confuse responsibility with expectations. And we often accept responsibilities that do not belong to us. The result is that we overlook or deny large areas of personal responsibility, which in truth, is the only kind that exists.

From an early age, most of our parent’s impressed on us the importance of being responsible. That was the start of our confusion. To our parents being responsible really meant, “Do as we ask”, “Meet our expectations,” ” Make us proud” and most of all “Don’t embarrass or disappoint us.”

Unfortunately, most people mean exactly the same thing when they suggest that you should be responsible. “Meet my expectations.” “Avoid inconveniencing me. Do not cause me any discomfort.” And often, without realizing it, we comply. If we have learned to associate responsibility with our sense of worth, we will indiscriminately strive to leave no expectation unmet, be careful to cause no one discomfort, and toil keep everyone pleased. Everyone except, of course ourselves, for whom we are responsible.

This concept of responsibility is a certain formula for feeling inadequate, insignificant, unappreciated and stressed.

Here’s another one of our inaccurate concepts of responsibility.

A friend, family member or co-worker tells you that you are responsible for their pain, disappointment, failure, etc. Perhaps they are upset about a life choice that you made, non-compliance to their wishes, disapproval of your behavior or lifestyle. They claim that your decision is causing them discomfort or embarrassment. This blame game uses guilt as a weapon. A very effective form of manipulation for many of us.

However, no person is responsible for another person’s feelings. This is not a license to be callous, uncaring or self obsessed. But when we allow someone’s emotional needs to dictate our decisions, our life is no longer our own. The result is that we live a life that we did not plan. We become poisoned with bitterness and resentment or we struggle through with grim determination. And for that, we are responsible.

Being responsible is not: Meeting another person’s expectations.

Being responsible is not: Rescuing another person from their uncomfortable feelings.

So what does it mean to be responsible?

Responsibility is the ability to respond rather than react. It means that we consciously decide how we will think, speak, behave and live in way that are congruent with our goals, values and priorities. Responsibility is being accountable for our own physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well being regardless of our current situation.

Living responsibly empowers us to express who we are and to experience the life that we choose to create. Establishing clear goals, values and priorities, enables us to make life enhancing decisions when faced with emotional manipulation.

Living responsibly requires awareness, self knowledge, determination and most of all courage. But the pay off is immense. When we live responsibly, we develop a sense of empowerment, clarity, self worth and personal freedom.

And those qualities are the stuff that makes dreams come true.

Can you disappoint another to be true to yourself. Can you bear accusations of betrayal and

not betray your own Soul?”


Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

Entry filed under: Piority, Motive and Intention. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , .

The Law of Attraction – the Root of New Evil?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Trackback this post  |  Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed

Our life is an evolving creation, shaped by our choices, colored by our desires, and lightened or darkened by our intentions.
July 2008
    Aug »

RSS Unknown Feed

  • An error has occurred; the feed is probably down. Try again later.

Recent Posts

Home, Coaching Service, About

%d bloggers like this: