Road Map to Success

October 16, 2008 at 5:54 am 4 comments

Road Map to Success! by Lauren Kennedy http://www.InsitetoExcellence.com

You have determined your goal, charted your course and visualized your success. You’re revved up, enthusiastic, and convinced that you finally have discovered the winning formula.  Confident that you have left nothing to chance, you  launch yourself  into action, sights fixed on your target goal. You are totally immersed in  your quest. Absorbed by the desire to succeed, you refuse to allow life’s annoyances to interfere with your plans. Your attention is riveted on your goal, and any distractions are met with annoyance.    You press on, convinced that life’s ultimate trophy, success, is within your grasp.

Then it happens. Once again you are repeatedly charging into obstacle after obstacle, battered and bruised. You become exhausted, drained of energy, unable to force yourself to take another step. May be you are dazed and disoriented from devotedly forging ahead on the latest “Make more money than you can spend,” strategy, only to find yourself overwhelmed and deeper in debt.  This is not the ending you had envisioned.

What, you wonder, are you doing wrong?

You’re not alone.

There is an never ending supply of information and informers. We could research the various strategies for success for a lifetime and still not exhaust the supply. And the ones we did research would contradict one another. It is a true quagmire when you are new to the games without any basic foundation, concepts or guidelines to which you can compare the new information you are receiving.

I discovered first hand the disillusioning affects of doggedly adhering to strategies that aren’t working. I shelled out hundreds for the privledge of getting in on the ultimate business opportunities or advertising campaign. The talented sales personal excelled at repeatedly wearing me  down through manipulation, guaranteeing a substantial return on my investment,   implying that I lacked vision if I resisted, or promising to personally ensure my success.

Business Principles

I have listened in amazement as entrepreneurs confidently proclaimed that adhering to personal principles was unnecessary and unprofitable in business. They rationalized that being dishonest in business matters did not make one dishonest in character. The inference is that if you are a business person, you are not responsible or accountable for your actions or the consequences. This notion has been clearly demonstrated by wall streets expectation that their victims are responsible for footing the bill to bail them out so they can continue conducting business as usual.

It’s Up To You

But no matter. The important thing is to stop and evaluate the choices that we are making. Otherwise,  we become, overwhelmed, over tired, over worked and over committed. We exploded with frustration and then crash and burn. Or we become physically and emotionally exhausted, and fizzle out completely. Confusion, inadequately, and resignation are the result.

But that doesn’t mean that you are at a dead end street. And your dismal results aren’t caused by a lack of ability, commitment, or determination. But you do need a set of guidelines to help you identify truth from fiction, reality from fairy tales, and responsibility from rationalization and justification.

Top that end, I have included some mistaken assumptions and basic guidelines below.

Mistaken Assumption 1.

“You can have it all.” This is an attempt to sanction “You can have your cake and eat it too”. Believe me, I dedicated many years,  determined to find a way to do that. And I ended up just plain hungry. You can have everything, just not at the same time. No matter how efficient you become at multi tasking, excellence demands focus, awareness and complete involvement. Try patting your head and rubbing your stomach. You may pull it off with practice, but it requires total focus, leaving you unable to respond or even notice present circumstances, developing situations, or arising opportunities.

Plus the necessary preoccupation required to stay on top of your multi tasks, steals your awareness away from the present. You go through the motions of living. But when you are distracted by mental gymnastics, you can not experience or enjoy the present, whether that is appreciating a beautiful sunset, feeling the unconditional love when your child hugs you, or enjoying the support and camaraderie of a close friend.

There is no no opening for a creative idea that may be the answer to a difficult situation. Plus rubbing your head and patting your stomach simultaneously is no longer much fun after the novelty wears off.

Mistaken Assumption  2.

“The only limits are the ones that you create.” The truth is that we all, as a condition of being human, have certain physical, emotional and intellectual limitations. Some of these can be minimized with time and effort. But no matter how sincerely a schizophrenic believes he is Napoleon, he will never conquered France. Similarly no matter  how committed I am to  getting by with one hour of sleep a night, my body is going to object, and strongly. Believing that I can fly like a bird will result in even greater physical peril.

OK. So perhaps those are extreme examples. But we suffer in less obvious ways every time we deny our needs.  A few individuals may be evolved to the point of transcending these physical limits, but most of us haven’t reached that level.  We all have our individual sleep, exercise and relaxation requirements. Some of us have certain physical limitations brought on by birth, lifestyle, karma or experience. Some people thrive on stress while others find it debilitating.

Our life circumstances create other limits on our time, energy, and responsibilities. Family, children, especially those with issues or special needs, financial challenges, etc. require additional time and energy.  There is only 24 hours in a day. Therefore, your individual circumstances do  influence how much time and energy you can devote to your goal.

We all have certain limits on our time,  energy and coping abilities. You can push yourself and ignore rather than honor  your physical and emotional needs.  You can neglect some responsibilities and compromise some principles in your determination to achieve your goals. But the pot at the end of the rainbow will not be filled with gold but regret, cynicism, or callousness.

But your dreams have no limits. And you can achieve the essence of whatever you dream.  It is only how you achieve it that is in question. But limits are really challenges. Honestly and courageously met, the result is a giant step toward achieving the essence of your dream.

Here’s an irony about our schizophrenic.

Although he may not convince anyone else that he is Napoleon, his belief and attitude allows him to experience himself as Napoleon. Our motivation for a particular goal or dream is our belief that by achieving it, we will experience: happiness, security, freedom, fill in the blank. That is the essence or our dream or goal.

Mistaken Assumption 3.

Don’t devote time, energy or focus on anything that isn’t furthering your goal, i.e making money.” There are moments when this concept would be a welcome excuse to boot my kids out of my office, tune out my husbands critiques and in depth suggestions, and justify neglecting “lesser” responsibilities. Aware focus, persistence and dedication may be required to achieve your dream. But neglecting  things that aren’t directly contributing to your success creates imbalance in our life. It increases our tendency to live unconsciously – on autopilot, to become obsessive about our goal,  to ignore the important thongs in our life and to miss the journey.

Success becomes more important than relationships or self awareness. Integrity is compromised by the rationalization that the ends justify the means. The goal should never be more important than your life journey. If your actions don’t adhere to your values and principles, you may reach your goal, but you might not like that person you have become when you get there.

Go For It!

Yes, go for you dreams. That is who you are and what you are meant to do. And yes, reach for the moon, you may just get to the stars. Never give up your dream because of obstacles or hardships. But if you keep getting beat up along the way, if you are consistently sliding backwards, if you are becoming less of the person you want to be, here’s a road map that will get you back on the freeway to your goals.

Road Map to the Stars.

Adopt these concepts as the guidelines for your attitude, behaviors and choices and your engines willing be purring again.

There is Abundance enough for all. You own the title to an abundance of it.

Don’t limit your dreams. You wouldn’t have them it you couldn’t achieve them. But be open minded about the path you take and listen and heed your inner guidance showing you the “How”.

Determine why you are striving to reach a particular goal. We choose our goal because of how the goal will make us feel, not because of the goal itself. Anything that fosters that feeling is time well spent. Practice being the person you want to become. Avoid people that encourage negative behavior, demoralize or discourage you. This is not the same as avoiding people who are suffering or in need of support.

Make certain that it is your dream and not someone else’s expectations for you. Your goals should be motivated by desire and passion, not by old guilt, fears, or by the need for approval.

Make it your priority, but not your sole responsibility. You may have to give up some leisure activities for a time. But the things you value and the principles that you hold dear cannot be compromised.

Don’t deny your physical and emotional needs and requirements. It may be tempting to sleep less. We may think we can ignore our needs for relaxation, self care, personal interactions, emotional support. But just like a car that doesn’t get proper maintenance, you will burn out or miss the turn. Don’t become so obsessed with your goal that you forget to refuel.

Choose a direction that is stimulating and empowering.  Make a plan. Chart your course. Anticipate detours but avoid u-turns. Then trust yourself. Don’t second guess yourself every time someone criticizes your choices or suggests that you should try something new. Instead, exhibit the attitude, confidence and bearing that you will have once your goal is realized. But live in the in the present moment.

Proceed with trust and courage. Then expect the impossible.

FYI – If you are struggling to find direction, motivation, courage or empowerment, we have a Life Coaching program that will fit your needs and provide effective methods for developing the characteristics necessary for your success.

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Why Not? The Illusion of Control

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    • 2. laurenpkennedy  |  January 6, 2013 at 6:16 pm

      Thank you for your comments. The information in my blog is the result of my own personal experiences, my professional experience as a counselor, an extensive research and training, both formal and self directed.

      I haven’t written a new article for some time due to some health challenges and other personal responsibilities and commitments. However, I will be adding some new articles, on a regular basis, very soon.

      While I have experience, dedication and skills at Life Coaching/counseling, and I am passionate about supporting others in their desire to fulfill their potential, gain inner peace and live with integrity, my marketing and business skills are limited. Therefore, I have not seriously tried to market my blog, website or advertise Life Coaching sessions via phone, Skype or email.

      But it is certainly a possibility at some point although I would not compromise my message or my principles in the process.

      Again, thank you for your comments and your interest.

      Lauren Kennedy

      Reply
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    • 4. laurenpkennedy  |  May 26, 2013 at 5:23 pm

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