Positive Power Principles

November 30, 2008 at 5:21 pm 3 comments

by Lauren Kennedyhttp://www.InsitetoExcellence.com

Be positive!

That is the victory cry of many experts, gurus, coaches, and mentors for achieving success and living your dreams.

I am an avid supporter of a positive attitude.  A positive attitude influences our thoughts, our perceptions,  our creativity, our sense of humor, our stamina, and our affect (that’s psychologist speak for emotional tone), regardless of our present circumstances.

So this seemed like a healthy ideology to advocate to others. But when I explored the actual concepts and the methodology of many of these Programs, I began having serious doubts about their effectiveness.

Many master mind groups,  forum,  blogs, newsletters and webinars, have adopted  these concepts.  The directive to be positive isn’t specifically referring to attitude as I had first assumed. The  main focus is on thoughts, feelings, information, and situations.

These programs’ primary theme is:

Your thoughts are solely  responsible for controlling your emotions and creating your life situation.

These Programs advocate the following:

○ Discount negative thoughts and immediately replace them with positive ones.

○ Promptly ignore and discard unpleasant emotions by focusing on positive thoughts, visualizing      pleasant images and thinking about happy memories.

○ Avoid all information depicting negative new, events or circumstances, revealing the abuses, pain or suffering of people, creatures or the state of the earth.

○ Match your vibrational energy to that of your dreams, desires or goals.

These Programs claim that by adhering to their suggested techniques, one will achieve a positive, successful life.

They stipulate that:
○ One must avoid acknowledging or exploring any issues that may cause discomfort;
○ That one must not discuss politics or religion due to possible conflict which can produce negativity:
○ That one need not examine instances of  corruption, deceit, dishonesty, abuse of human rights or the plight of the suffering because it will produce negative thoughts;
○ That one must not communicate their “negative” emotions plus one would be well advised to personally dismiss them and immediately replace them with happy thoughts.

○ It is ok however, to request suggestions for eliminating any unpleasant thoughts or feelings as long as one doesn’t share them.

But through observation and experience, I have discovered that in the end they often result in limitation, self denial,  inadequacy and avoidance. While these statements have merit in some contexts, applying them indiscriminately or applying them without some additional processes, render  superficial and short lived results at best and discouragement, denial, and depression at worst.

Believing  that we can isolate ourselves from the tragedy and pain in the world or believing that we can avoid experiencing unpleasant emotions, is shortsighted and naive. We often convince ourselves that if we follow some perfect plan of action then,  “It won’t happen to me,” whatever “it” might happen to be.

Excuse me. Yes it can!

No matter how well you visualize utopia, not matter how many wonderful thoughts you think and no matter how many positive memories you call up to drown out the unpleasant feelings, you cannot release unwanted emotions by repressing or resisting them. In addition, your thoughts can not control all outer situations, people, events or disasters from touching your life.  If our thoughts affect reality, then so do everyone’s thoughts. Excepts perhaps for a few highly evolved individuals, most of us have not developed our skill or ability manage thought energies to affect the intentions of a gang bent on destruction, to defend against the collusion of corrupt corporations or to change the course of a tornado or deflect a hurricane.

Empowerment is Key

True success, security and happiness result when we change our relationship with our emotions, change our attitude, change our perspective, and change our response (through a sense of empowerment and self efficacy) to the situations we encounter in life. To achieve your goals or  self growth, one must learn how to BE positive in spite of the disappointment, pain, and emotions which we will undoubtedly experience throughout the course of our lives.  The methods and skills necessary to achieve that kind of empowerment will dramatically improve your life experience.

What’s more, when we intentionally remain uninformed about unsettling issues, or purposefully choose to ignore or deny the plight of the suffering, the persecuted, the abused, the disadvantaged or the confused,  we are asserting one of two positions;

We choose to decline addressing the unjust suffering or excessive corruption to avoid our thoughts being contaminated by negativity,

We are dedicated to our Positive Program and therefore we are entitled to protect ourselves through isolation from all negativity or suffering;

Our Choices Shape Our Character

The rationalization that we should not help others because they are responsible to change their own thoughts has been misconstrued. We are assuming that their situation is the result of their own negativity. Whether we are faced with people who are starving because of a drought,  destitute because of layoffs, or people whose behaviors and irrational thoughts have precipitated their situation, integrity and compassion demand that we offer support and guidance when we can.

I am not advocating rescuing  someone from themselves. That is impossible, even when that someone is our own child. However I am suggesting that we are responsible to share our experience, strength, hope, time and support.

A Positive Attitude is Not Built on Fear, Isolation and Avoidance

A program truly dedicated to self growth must promote unity, not fear and isolation.
Self growth is about walking through our intellectual fears, not rationalizing them. In addition, no human has enough information, insight, or objectivity to judge whether another person’s situation is the result of their own negative thoughts. Nor is it our place to do so.

Positive Principles

Before withdrawing into these well disguised  notions of isolation and self denial,  consider these alternative principles.

Painful situations do not cause negativity. It is our perceptions, fears, resistance and attitude that produce our own negative reactions.  Notice that  I said negative reactions, not negative emotions.

Ignoring the effects of corruption, dishonesty, or abuse is in itself an injustice. Consider this famous quote. “Evil persists when good men do nothing.”

Understand, I am not advocating storming the dens of corruption and greed with guns blazing. That would be incongruent with a positive approach. Creativity, wisdom, insight, intuition and integrity are less dramatic but more productive ingredients for lasting results.

When we discount or ignore our thoughts and feelings, that is self abuse. Granted, there are many thoughts which we may decide that we want to replace. But dismissing them without exploration and randomly choosing a happy thought will not give us the results that we seek.

Feelings Are Messages for Growth

And regularly dismissing our feelings can have prolonged negative effects on our health, (mental and physical), our behavior and our self worth. Our feelings are a treasure chest of information. And they never lie to us. Our thoughts about a situation may be incorrect. But our negative feelings are shouting to us that something is not working.

For instance, our anger may or may not be the result of actual mistreatment. Perhaps it is our perceptions that we need to adjust. Or perhaps we need to set some boundaries and quit  being a door mat, seeking approval, or reacting out of fear of rejection.  Or maybe we need to make some changes in our situation, behavior or perception. But when we discount or dismiss our anger, we have cleverly relieved ourselves from the responsibility of making any alterations in our thinking, perceptions, situation or behavior. Now we just have to paste a smile on our face, act happy and commend ourselves for remaining detached and numb.

Contrary to some views, pretending to be happy does not result in happiness. Apologizing for your feelings is akin to apologizing for the truth. Conversely, wallowing in your feelings is self abusive and irresponsible. We must experience them,  discern their message, make choices based on that knowledge and then we can release them. Learning  to apply the methods that allow you to benefit from and partner with your feelings is a priceless wisdom.

How Do You Vibrate?

Do you know how to raise your vibrational energy level to match your desires?  There’s not many” how to” books on that. However, focusing on feeling and Being  like the person that you think you will be when you achieve your goals and desires will have a positive effect on how you think and feel.   And  have discovered that a positive attitude, having a positive outlook, looking for the positive in people and situations,  really improves how I feel. Feelings are energy in motions so I guess that qualifies as vibrational energy. In turn, my emotions have a huge effect on my thoughts,  beliefs and choices. And that ultimately affects my life circumstances and experiences.

Remember,  a person doesn’t attract what they want, they attract what they are. And one’s thoughts, feelings and actions flow from who one is BEing. Just thinking pretty thoughts will not fool the Universe or anyone else.

A program of being positive by avoiding unpleasantness, denying our feelings, compulsively ignoring negative thoughts,  evading  conversations with conflicting views and remaining unaware of tragedy, suffering, corruption and abuse, is not a program on how to remain positive. It is a program on how to remain unaware, how to act like Pollyanna,  and how to isolate oneself against the world in which one lives.

An effective program must contain methods to help the individual thrive in whatever circumstance they encounter.

It must show  people how to achieve their potential, their purpose and their dreams while coping with the world as it is, living life on life’s terms.  Although beating on the wall, hoping to change it into a door is a waste of time,  just visualizing a door in the wall is equally ineffective. Instead, visualize yourself outside in the sunshine while imagining a way out and perhaps you’ll discover how to make a door or find another exit.

Differences of opinion are part of life. Like it or not, political information is a crucial element in responsibly participating in the direction of the country in which we live. Corruption, abuse, suffering and calamity exist.

But we can still learn  to remain positive and supportive without avoiding unpleasant realities or  differences of opinions. We can address corruption and abuse with a positive approach. We can assist those in need without jeopardizing our own positive attitude.

A optimistic attitude is crucial to experiencing a successful life. Our attitude is shaped by outlook, our perspective, our priorities, our  sense of empowerment, our ability to manage our feelings, cope with changes, obstacles and challenges and most of all by being true to ourselves and our purpose.
Positive thoughts and visualization alone will not change your life or your life experience.  You must work the whole equation.

Being positive has become synonymous with sticking one’s head in the sand. If it doesn’t touch me, it doesn’t concern me. Mother Teresa was by anyone’s account a positive person. Yet, she dealt with human pain and misery daily. Had she avoided these issues for fear of tarnishing her positive outlook, many people would have been denied the gift of compassion, aid and hope that she contributed.

One of her quotes depicts the positive attitude and principles that allowed her to acknowledge and heal the suffering she encountered.

“I would not march against war, but I would march for peace.”

It is the difference between ignoring suffering and doing what one can to ease it. It is the difference between identifying an problem in order to find a solution  and bemoaning the hopelessness of human cruelty.  It is the difference between taking action to improve the lives of a few  individuals rather than declaring the enormity of the problem  a waste of time and effort. It is the difference between experiencing and interacting with the world as it is while maintaining a positive outlook. It is recognizing that the veil of self satisfaction can blind us to this truth: Controlling outer circumstances is an illusion.

But changing how we experience them is not.

Ignoring and avoiding are forms of resistance. And what we resists, persists. What persists will eventually touch our lives. Do what you can, with what you have, to the best of your ability for yourself and others. That is the way to change negativity, one person at a time.

“It is good to have a destination towards which to journey. But, in the end, it is your choices on the journey that matter.”

Do you want to achieve a sense of Empowerment, Emotional Peace, Positive Attitude, Integrity, and Personal Freedom in you life? Call or email me for a free 30 minute consultation.

excellence@cinci.rr.com

513-889-1870

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Entry filed under: Law of Attraction. Tags: , , , , , , .

Forgive or Forget? Don’t Shoot the Messenger

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Mick Turner  |  December 1, 2008 at 7:44 am

    A great article! Well-written, thoughtful, insightful, and, on the whole, a very balanced view. Thanks so much for posting this. I think it brings a needed perspective on positive thinking and positive imaging. The issue, I think, is not that these things are bad or wrong. It’s just that they, left by themselves, are incomplete.

    Reply
  • 2. Feng Shui Candace  |  December 1, 2008 at 3:05 pm

    Positivity is really the basis to all we do. When our feet hit the floor in the morning and we are positive and grateful the day flows much differently.

    Reply
  • 3. laurenpkennedy  |  December 3, 2008 at 2:14 am

    Hi Mick,
    I appreciate your comment. I agree with you. They are important concepts to assist us in changing our lives. But they are just part of the equation. Plus we must acknowledge and respect all our feelings. That is an important step in learning how to manage and learn from them. I acted the role of Pollyanna for a long time. Academy Award Quality. But that ended in disaster. I don’t want other to experience that.

    Thanks,

    Lauren

    Reply

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